Don't Worry Mamoru-San... Size Doesn't Matter
by Xaphrin
Summary: Just a short little ficcy based upon a conversation at my lunch table... Luv ya'll! Have fun! Enjoy life!


Don't Worry Mamoru-san… Size Doesn't Matter  
  
A humorous little ditty that started with some bizarre conversations at our lunch table…  
  
Usagi was having a horrible day! It was her horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day of the year. First she was late for school, but not just her normal five minutes, she was late by a whole hour! Then in class she fell asleep, and failed her test. But not only that, Seiya and Taiki were arguing about something the entire day and she wanted to know too! It was something about size… Usagi didn't quite grasp the concept.  
As she was walking home from school, grumbling about guys and friends and such she tripped over something small and green.  
"Ahhhh! Ew! It's a green lump!" Usagi screeched falling flat on her face.   
"Ahhhh! Ew! It's a blonde ditz!" The green thing screamed, "Don't HURT me! I'll grant you any wish you want! Just DON'T hurt me!"  
"Any wish I want!" Usagi strained for the light bulb to turn on in her head. "I know! I wanna know what Seiya and Taiki were arguing about! It was something about size…"  
The green lump sweat dropped, "Bigger then me probably…" He muttered under his breath. "Alright! I'll grant you your wish!"   
The green lump jumped up and down and did a little dance and shook its bum. "Okay after my warm-up dance…. Hibiscus-Figus-Nutritionus!"   
And with that Usagi was turned invisible and found herself in Seiya's room. (AN: Can you see where this is going people…) She looked around with wide eyes. Everything was so big, maybe this was what Seiya and Taiki meant.   
"…No way, Taiki." A voice said, walking into the room. It was Seiya, followed by Taiki, they were seemingly still arguing about size.  
"I say, it doesn't matter."  
"Well I say it does."  
"I think they're all functional in the same way, Seiya," Taiki shot back.  
"I think size matters," Seiya shot again.  
"I think you two have been arguing over this the whole day and need to get over it," Yaten said, joining in on the conversation.  
"Ha! You'd be the one to speak, seeing as yours is smaller then mine," Taiki said, smugly.  
"Ha! So you think size does matter!" Seiya laughed.  
"I never said that!"  
"No but you implied it."  
"Mine is SO not smaller then yours, Taiki!" Yaten said, he was not going to be defeated by Taiki! Who's had to be the smallest of the three.  
"Oh yeah?" Yaten said.  
"Yeah!" Taiki shot back.  
"Fine! Show me!" Yaten said.   
"Alright, I will!" Taiki dropped his pants and Usagi nearly screamed. It was small! She couldn't believe it. Who would have thought that he would have had the smallest of them all, after being the largest built of all the three.  
"See!" Yaten said, "I SO told you so."  
"Fine! You can be like that! I still say size doesn't matter."  
"Yeah right, Taiki!" Seiya retorted as Taiki pulled his pants back up.  
"Fine, Yaten who don't you drop your pants and we'll see who's is smaller then the two of us, if Seiya is SO convinced that size DOES matter," Taiki said.  
"Fine!' Yaten said, no one insulted him and got away with it. He dropped his pants and looked at the other two. "See! I told you mine was bigger then YOURS, Taiki!"  
Usagi looked at him, he was smaller then Taiki! That wouldn't work at all! No wonder Yaten hated physical exhaustion. Using that would take all the physical power Yaten had!  
"That is SO not bigger then, mine," Taiki responded, crossing his arms over his chest. Yaten glared at him.  
"You wanna bet?"   
"I am NOT getting out a tape measurer! No way!" Seiya said, backing away.  
"Well, why don't we just see whose the largest of the three of us, huh?" Yaten said. Taiki and Him looked at Seiya who held up his hands in defense.  
"Hey, I stayed out of this conversation after Yaten barged in!" he responded.  
"Nope, you have to how us how big yours is!" Taiki said, betting nearly everything he owned that Seiya's was SO not as big as his.  
"If it pleases you! Fine!" Seiya dropped his pants. There was a dead silence in the room. Usagi just stared. It… was …  
"Okay, I can't compete with that," Taiki said, not even wanting to try. "I am no where near that."  
Yaten backed away, "Uh-huh. I am so not even going to try."  
"Are you all quite happy?" He asked, hauling his pants back up to his waist.  
"How you even fit in your pants in a mystery to me…" Taiki said.  
"Shut up…" Seiya blushed.  
"Forget it, Seiya won. We lost. Let's just forget we ever had this conversation," Yaten walked out of the room followed by Taiki.  
Usagi still stood here looking at Seiya… whooo-eee… she wasn't even going to comment.  
"I can't believe it… they got into a huge fight over this…" Seiya shook his head in wonderment.   
"Well, you are big…" Usagi whispered under her breath. Oops, I guess the green lump forgot to tell Usagi that if you speak the spell breaks! Woopsies.  
"Usagi-chan!" Seiya blushed. Usagi stood there with wide eyes. Seiya just blushed a deep deep red, "How long have you been there?"  
"Um… since the three of you walked into the room?" She offered.  
"You saw that whole thing! Oh man…"  
"Don't worry Seiya-kun! You're bigger then Mamoru!"  
  
Hi! My name is Xaphrin and I have no life! If I had more of a life I'm sure I would have a job and I could be a little closer to owning Sailor Moon, but until then Naoko T, Owns it.   
  
SPECIAL THANX TO: EmpressGalaxia who wrote the story 'Sexuality' with out that story, this stupid product of it being one in the morning and me hyped up on strange items of food and medicine, would never have taken place!   
  
Lunch Table Conversation:  
Care: Zach, if you don't stop singing the American Sailor Moon theme I will chuck this half eaten Breakfast Bar at your forehead. Don't think I won't.  
Zach: Fighting evil by- Ow! Hey!   
Care: I told you! (pauses) I STILL can't believe I wrote that in my story…  
Nikki: Wrote what? That hentai scene?  
Care: Yeah… it's just SO not like me.  
Rachel: I'm not even going to comment.  
Care: I'm thinking about writing a humor story about Seiya and Usagi and 'size'  
Zach: That would be funny  
Nikki: That's only because Taiki is probably bigger then you  
Zach: hey!  
Care: I will not comment! I refuse to comment. Anywho, I love 'Sexuality'  
Rachel: What that one story you guys were passing around today in Math?  
Care: No, I was sleeping. Besides, I already read it like three times. I know it's probably not made to be funny but it was.  
Zach: I'm gonna write a story about Usagi and she'd be taking a shower and have the Luna pen in there with her and she's thinking about Seeing Seiya naked and it short circuits and Usagi is transported to Seiya's room and-  
Care: Don't even go there! I'm all for seeing Seiya naked and all but… NO MORE Hentai! I'm still trying to get over ME writing it! I'm just not like that!  
Nikki: Yeah you, who when you broke up with your boyfriend did this thing: I'M OPEN FOR BUSINESS!   
Zach and Rachel: I agree with her.  
Care: (Speaking rather loudly) And I still AM! (Grins) Anywho I'll get around to that story eventually…  
  
End of Lunchtime conversation piece! Ja ne! Talk to you soon! Love: Xaphrin!  



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